New year Vibes! 🌸

The decor is up,
The fairy lights are up.
Time to do the final check, so,
*lights on* and Wow!!
This place Looks like a dream!

This month is a dream!

December,
It’s like the entire year’s summary.
Everyone’s shopping for Christmas and for new year’s,
Everyone’s playing secret Santa and wrapping and gifting and spreading happiness and joy in all forms possible to each other!

It’s past 12, you’re off to bed on the 30th, thinking about how tomorrow is a BIG day for you. It’s going to be all festive and lights and parties and families and friends and laughters and pictures and everything so perfect.
It’s a much bigger day ofcourse because this year is ending, and you’re all set with a list of resolutions, things you want to do, want to get better at, things you want to make right, all the mistakes you want to correct or not repeat in the new year.
You’re all set for a new beginning, and look at how amazing and festive this month is, look at the power that this month has, it can make you take the most difficult decisions by calling them resolutions.
So you do that, we all do that. We take our difficult decisions and try to stick to it, we call it our New Year resolutions.
(In my case, year after year, it would definitely be to cut down on cakes and chocolates.)

It’s New Year and you buy new planners and put up new things in your head, you want to stay organized suddenly, want to eat good food, want to workout, cut down a few kilos or gain some, want to repair your relations. You want to change so much about your life.
But let’s rewind a little,

back to 2017’s year end.

It’s the same time, the same vibe, the same feeling, about renewal, new habits, the same new year new me.
But did we do what we thought back then? [If you really kept up to it, you are unbelievable! (in a positive way!)]
We say resolutions are meant to be broken but are they, really?
Or is it your will power that’s weak.
If you make your mind that you won’t smoke, you won’t.

I think it’s all in our head, our addictions. Only when you start living without a particular food that you love you realise that you’re doing pretty okay after the initial little trouble, you know you’re doing good after a few months of letting go of people who’re not meant for you, you’re doing pretty good.

My one such major resolution (not really resolution but just a personal thought), happened about one and a half year ago,
It was not a really good phase that I was going through at that time.
A lot of things kept troubling me mentally and physically.
I was all about doctor visits for my sudden weight gains and losses, my sudden hair loss, my PCOD, I had the worse sleepless nights, most upset days, the slightest of things just got me so upset. I could skip meals and not even feel anything inside.
I was all about waking up, eating my food for the sake of it and going back to bed.
Ofcourse I had these 2-3 people stick through me every single day. Just to listen to me cry every single day without even complaining about being my friend. To make sure I was just doing okay every day. (And of course I’d take a bullet for them and I really mean it:) )
So getting back to the resolution.
I used to wake up, social media the entire day on my bed without even getting up, go have my meals, come back and social media and go try to sleep.
(this was before Netflix, Prime or Pubg was a thing)
When one day I happened to read this little something about life. I was stupid I forgot to save it but I remember a para which was about “Enough is enough”
Enough of complaining, enough of crying, enough of cribbing, enough of everything negative that is letting you down, enough of everything that is stopping your inner power from shining.
I will definitely share the blog if I ever come across that anytime. But after reading that I was suddenly feeling so good. About being strong. It made me just want to get up and go do things.
For the first time after so many months I actually got up and went location hunting and went shooting (📷).
It made me feel so much better obviously, but it was also because now I was mentally prepared to move on. I took my time to bounce back Ofcourse but it was also my will power that I didn’t let any thought so negative touch me ever since or get me weak again.

But while I was fine after the entire episode,
I also happened to think that the major major influence in the negativity was social media.
(And I hate to say this, majorly because that is the field I am into professionally. Social media representation, photography)
It hit me so hard that things which were developed for either fun or connectivity, have actually become so tough to deal with. And it’s really too late because everything on social media is only competition now. The more likes, the more posts, the more followers is the clear winner somehow. Even if the content uploaded is shit, no one cares about that anymore, do we?
What hit me even more hard is that, when I was low, I saw all of this and started realising how worse things are in my life, even more.
I started seeing how people looked so good and how my acne or my short height or my fat thighs would never let me look this beautiful.
I started seeing how they dressed so good and how my choice of clothes weren’t too fancy or I could never pull them with too much style. I noticed every girl’s hair and thought if I’d ever get good hair because of the pcod, I saw them go to good places, always made me think when “I” (“I” not my “Family”) will reach that stability financially to have fancy dinners.

And at this point, I’m dead sure so many of us feel the same. We want to go everywhere that looks fancy, we want to wear everything that looks rich, own everything that gets the jaws dropped.
Because we want everyone to see i and think that this is better than what they have. :))))
We have all somehow become predators of social media in such a bad bad way that we cannot do a day without boasting about our lifestyles.
The satisfaction that we get when someone else sees your posts and pictures and wants to do it, because you did it.

At that point I had just made my mind so so clear. I would never make anyone else feel the way I did when I was going through that phase.
I would never want anyone to feel jealous, insecure, or anything that would bring down their confidence about their own lives down. (At least I would try my level best to do so)
I somehow got the courage to delete the app Snapchat (which I kind of disliked as an app anyway).
I already had a personal Insta profile too but this I made my mind would be for me to connect with my closest friends/family only.
I stopped uploading personal stories on almost all personal accounts, on every app.
(My public Insta is the only where I usually post, because that’s usually not personal, it’s all work and is there to enhance my work portfolio mostly) .

Personal choices ofcourse but I’m just saying how it has got into my head about me not being that person who would just make everything look so glitzy and glamorous even if it is really not.)

Having said that, it would not be fair if I said taking pictures are a wrong thing. I do that for a living and I do it with all the love and respect for pictures.
But taking the RIGHT pictures would make a lot of difference because of course a lot of different minds see it. Call it public speaking maybe, you’re giving visual speech to a lot of different people going through a lot of different things.

A beautiful beautiful couple shoot can be done even on your terrace or your tiniest room.
It doesn’t even have to be extremely fancy. It is the chemistry that you want to see in the picture, or the love in the eyes, or the fun moments that you have together. That is what is always important. 🙂
After doing this short course on photography I just realised it is the moment that matters more.
And that this year I think my resolution will be to take more and more meaningful pictures,
Something that makes people go like “Wow! That’s one hell of an art work.”
And not more like “Wow, the location is so good that’s why this picture looks good.”

Let’s just end with this –
What ever fields we are in, let’s just do it more meaningfully and thoughtfully and in the right way.
If you’re a baker make sure you use the right healthy ingredients and bake it like art because just making it look fancy is not the only thing that should matter.
Be it commerce, arts, science.
Do it for your love, for your passion.
Don’t just do things to make them look fancy.
It is the ethics , the genuinity that’s getting lost in this social media era and if I could please ask you to do any little that you could too help us all out. 🙂
This is a very small task and though it is a little tough, let’s not wait for another December or another January.

If it is in the willpower it will happen. 🙂
We say resolutions are meant to be broken but are they, really?
Or is it your will power that’s weak?

[Apologies for making it this long I didn’t know what part to cut short, and if you’re still reading thanks a ton. Do let me know if you like it. :)]

Wishing you a Happy Meaningful Year, filled with lots of love, positivity and strength. 😊🌸